Fix me

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being a hypocrite and pretending that's because I'm diplomatic.

I'm tired of not being mean enough, or being able to stand up for myself, or tell people I could not give even a quarter of a rat's ass about what they're saying.

I'm tired of not having everything I want and wanting more all the time.

I'm tired of being alone in this city. And knowing that nothing I have said will ever change anyone's mind.

I'm tired of others not having an iota of doubt. I am tired of not wanting to be tired of thinking over this a million times in my head.

I'm tired of having to deal with overly immature adults, who are nearing 30 and act like they're 2.

I'm tired of people believing that I am the emotional equivalent of a rat, and wanting to "take care" of me all the time. Let it go. I'm fine.

I'm tired of people being clingy and annoying.

I'm tired of having realised how much I have changed in the last couple of months. And more annoyed you haven't noticed; or that it doesn't bother you.

I'm just so tired I wish I could snap out of it and get down to doing something productive. But guess what? I can't.

So fix me.
Just fix me, in your own way. Glue back the good stuff, and leave the anger, and the cynicism and the frustration behind.

Just make me feel normal again. I'm tired of being broken all the time.